Sasuke vs Random People!
by Fullmidget Alchemist
Summary: Thats right, I'm making Sasuke fight random people from cartoons, anime, manga, etc. Do not read if you are a Sasuke fangirl. Includes tea parties, Axel, Integra's STFU NOOB bat, cheese sandwiches, and more!
1. Sasuke vs Dora the Explorer

Hello everyone! Fullmidget Alchemist has finally returned with a new story!

I'm sorry for not updating my others in a while; I'm having a brain fart.

But fear not! Thanks to:

1. Me staying home from school with some random illness  
2. Me becoming bored and watching the entire Hellsing series.

and a rather large cup of tea...

I have created a new story!

**DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU LIKE SASUKE!**

**(I do not own Naruto, Dora the Explorer, or anything else. If I did, I'd make Sasuke jump off Mt. Fuji.)**

* * *

Sasuke VS Random Peoples

Episode 1

SASUKE vs DORA THE EXPLORER

**oOoOoOo**

* * *

Sasuke sat on a log being his same old emo self... 

_Suddenly... _

THE AUTHORESS THREW A MOLDY CHEESE SANDWICH AT HIM!

"Ow! What was that for!" Sasuke said, rubbing his head.

The authoress grabbed him by his shirt. "For being a emo bastard, thats what! Now get on with it before the angry mobs arrive!"

"O-kay, geez..."

_Anyways... _

As Sasuke sat gloating in his emo, he didn't notice as a short, slightly dumb looking girl arrived behind him.

"HOLA!" Sasuke jumped out of his seat and looked at the visitor.

"HOLFSHITWHATTHEFU-"

"Nuh-uh-uh! THOSE ARE NAUGHTY WORDS!" the annoying little girl screeched.

"So? I'll say whatever words I want to! GOT THAT MEMORIZED?"

Then Sasuke got his head chopped off by Axel.

"THATS MY CATCHPHRASE! Got it _memorized_?" Then Axel walked off and had afternoon tea with Integra and some stuffed bunnies.

* * *

-bla bla bla in England?-

* * *

"So, have you considered joining Jenova's Witnesses, madam Hellsing?" 

"STFU N00B!" then Integra threw a stuffed bunny at Loz.

"AHHH! IT BURNS! MOMMY!"

"WHAT THE HELL, GET OFF ME!" Axel screamed as Loz grabbed him. "I'M NOT YOUR MOMMY!"

* * *

-cheese transition-

* * *

"That was weird..." Sasuke sighed. 

"SI, THAT WAS WEIRD!"

"SHUT-UP! DO YOU REALIZE HOW ANNOYING YOU ARE!"

So they fought, Sasuke threw Dora in the Euphrates River, Axel and Integra got married (just kidding!), and Loz hid in Kakashi's jacuzzi.

* * *

Note to everyone: 

I dislike Dora the Explorer because I think you could learn better spanish from the back of a Taco Bell wrapper...seriously.

Her voice is worse on my poor ears than a cheese grater.

**Review please!**

**oOoOoOo**


	2. Sasuke vs Alucard Pt 1

Nyuk nyuk nyuk...there's an ice cube in my pants...

* * *

Sasuke vs Random People

Episode 2

Sasuke vs Alucard

* * *

Muahahahaha...

**INTEGRA'S 'STFU NOOB BAT' IS COPYRWRITE FULLMIDGET ALCHEMIST!**

**I DON'T OWN NARUTO, I DON'T OWN HELLSING, I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!**

**-ahem, pie-**

* * *

"I think I'll eat a cheese sandwich." Sasuke said, sitting back down on his log of emo-ness.

_Suddenly..._

He got his on the head by a sandwich!

"Hey, this is tuna!" he said, unwrapping the sandwich. "I HATE tuna!"

"GASP! HOW CAN YOU HATE TUNA!" Itachi screamed, hitting Sasuke with Integra's STFU N00B bat ©.

"WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP HITTING ME?"

"Because your fun to hit." Ashley said.

_Suddenly..._

Ashley, Jordan, Lauren, Saki, Melody, Yuni and Kirara threw smiley face-shaped confetti at Sasuke.

"AHHH! THE HAPPINESS! IT BURNS US! IT BURNS US!"

"ATTACK THE EMO!" Ashley howled, biting Sasukes arm and growling like a doggy.

Burned to a crisp...eaten by a doggie...

* * *

-cough-

* * *

"Care for more sugar cubes Mr. Yum-Yum?" Hunny asked, offering the bucket of sugar cubes to Vincent.

"Uhm...no..." Vincent paled. "Why the hell am I the one having tea? And why am I wearing a dress?"

"Because Fullmidget Alchemist said so. Now drink your tea or else." Evangeline said, holding up Integra's STFU N00B bat ©.

"Yes ma'am." Vincent shuddered, taking a sip of his tea.

THEN A FISH EXPLODED!

"DAMMIT FEZ, YOU LEFT THE FISH IN THE MICROWAVE AGAIN!"

* * *

-car that runs on water-

* * *

"TEEN GIRL SQUAD!" Axel screamed as Integra chased him with her STFU N00B bat ©. Suddenly he was hit in the head with a book. "Hmm, book. Taste bad..." he peered inside. It was doujinshi! It was...

"AAAAAAHHHH! AXELxDEMYX DOUJINSHI! IT BURNS!"

Then Axel exploded, Evangeline stabbed Fez with a noodle, Hunny ate all of Saki's cake, and...

"Hey wait a sec, I wasn't even in this chapter!" Alucard protested "It was supposed to be me versus Sasuke!"

"Well, we can't all have our way." the authoress said, aiming her shotgun at pigeons...shoes...Alucard's hat...

* * *

ITS OVER!

Yes, I have had waay too much sugar. It makes me feel better to write, especially since I keep getting sick.

Don't worry, this isn't the end.

Ashley, Jordan, Lauren, Saki, Melody, Yuni and Kirara are my friends from skool.

**REVIEW AND YOU GET AXEL COOKIES!**

**oOoOoOo**


	3. Sasuke vs Alucard Pt 2

Nyuk nyuk nyuk...there's an ice cube in my pants...

* * *

Sasuke vs Random People

Episode 2

Sasuke vs Alucard

Muahahahaha...

INTEGRA'S 'STFU NOOB BAT' IS COPYRWRITE FULLMIDGET ALCHEMIST!

I DON'T OWN NARUTO, I DON'T OWN HELLSING, I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!

* * *

-ahem...pie-

* * *

"I think I'll eat a cheese sandwich." Sasuke said, sitting back down on his log of emo-ness. 

Suddenly...

He got his on the head by a sandwich!

"Hey, this is tuna!" he said, unwrapping the sandwich. "I HATE tuna!"

"GASP! HOW CAN YOU HATE TUNA?!" Itachi screamed, hitting Sasuke with Integra's STFU N00B bat ©.

"WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP HITTING ME?"

"Because your fun to hit." Ashley said.

Suddenly...

Minoru, Ashley and Saki threw smiley face-shaped confetti all over Sasuke!

"AHHH! THE HAPPINESS! IT BURNS US! IT BURNS US!"

"ATTACK THE EMO!!!" Ashley howled, biting Sasukes arm and growling like a doggy.

Burned to a crisp...eaten by a doggie...

-cough-

"Care for more sugar cubes Mr. Yum-Yum?" Hunny asked, offering the bucket of sugar cubes to Vincent.

"Uhm...no..." Vincent paled. "Why the hell am I the one having tea? And why am I wearing a dress?"

"Because Fullmidget Alchemist said so. Now drink your tea or else." Evangeline said, holding up Integra's STFU N00B bat ©.

"Yes ma'am." Vincent shuddered, taking a sip of his tea.

THEN A FISH EXPLODED!

"DAMMIT FEZ, YOU LEFT THE FISH IN THE MICROWAVE AGAIN!"

-car that runs on water-

"TEEN GIRL SQUAD!" Axel screamed as Integra chased him with her STFU N00B bat ©. Suddenly he was hit in the head with a book. "Hmm, book. Taste bad..." he peered inside. It was doujinshi! It was...

"AAAAAAHHHH!!!! AKUROKU!!!!"

"The fangirls say we're canon!" Roxas screamed and then got TB from Ukitake and exploded or something.

"Take that, evil...uhm..." Ukitake coughed into his sleeve, "PEOPLES!"

Then Axel exploded as well Evangeline stabbed Fez with a noodle, Hunny ate all of Saki's cake, and...

"Hey wait a sec, I wasn't even in this chapter!" Alucard protested "It was supposed to be me versus Sasuke!!!"

"Well, we can't all have our way." the authoress said, aiming her shotgun at pigeons.

* * *

ITS OVER!

* * *

Yes, I have had waay too much sugar. It makes me feel better to write, especially since I keep getting sick. 

Minoru and Saki are pseudonyms for me and my best friend. Ashley is Ashley's real name.

Don't worry, this isn't the end.


End file.
